I am so proud of your courage to stay alive! it is not easy at times. As I pursue my service of giving back to my community at large of: "Yes, it is possible of having and giving a good life with experiencing mental disorders", I think of us and others who courageously face their dark side and take responsibility at looking at our shadow side and managing these disorders by taking appropriate steps and support to take care of ourselves.
When life gives all of us a challenge, (people experiencing mental disorders and those who are not), to let go and face our "dark side" thoughts; ending one's life may appear to be an option. I strongly feel through my life experience with mental disorders staying in the moment and allowing the next segment of events to unfold and being an active participant is worth the freedom of releasing all pain and saying yes! to life.